Appendix 2J; Self or Spirit-Controlled Personality?
Choosing to respond in love, regardless of the situation, means you are intentionally choosing to flex your style. You made a choice to look at interpersonal relationships in light of your Christian character and then you made a second choice to put on love regardless of how you are being treated. (Revisit Appendix 1D & Appendix 1S).
Self-based behavior leads to extremes in personality and an inability to flex your style when dealing with others. For example; pride causes defensive behaviors because of the inability to see past self-preservation and/or desires. Christians, as well as non-Christians, can suffer from self-based behaviors due to pride and fear. (Christians are warned against grieving and quenching the Spirit, Ephesians 4:30, 1 Thessalonians 5:19). Christians are saved by faith, but this doesn’t impact your life today unless an intentional decision is made to demonstrate Christianity by bending your free will to adhere to Godly standards. It’s your free will decision that activates the power of the Holy Spirit in you so you can act righteously and ShinE (Proverbs 16:9, Galatians 5:16-26, Ephesians 2:7-10, Colossians 1:27, 2 Peter 1:3-10). A Christian can be either a confident, bold disciple or a believer with anxiety.
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Choose to make an intentional decision to let your Christianity rule over your feelings and shine through in your actions.
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Explanation of picture: When anxiety is expressed in an assertive personality, it will be expressed as pride mixed with anger (Gold) or as persistent and explosive rage (Orange). When anxiety is experienced in someone who is less assertive, the anxiety will generate feelings of fear mixed with worry and will be expressed differently depending on their responsiveness score. For example, both the "Green" and "Blue" will want to avoid conflict but they'll express that need with non-verbal clues like withdrawing eye contact and / or any further verbal discussion. The results can be minimal at first but if the relationship continues like this a habit will form for both people in the relationship and this may lead to co-dependency. When you put on love, you are consciously walking in the Spirit and are driven by an assertive yet bounded passion to speak the truth in love (among other Christian principles). A Spirit controlled personality is able to flex when the situation calls for you to be strong and courageous, expressing love and unity for the common good. Believe and trust the Holy Spirit to lead you!
When allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your behavior, Christians become more assertive in their communication because of their desire to please God and win people to Christ rather than letting unbounded selfish ambition control decisions (Philippians 2:3, Romans 12:3-21).