When you are surprised by circumstances and find yourself falling into a sea of unanticipated and unwanted emotions, you can lose sight of who you are in Christ and drowned in your own subjective thinking. Humility is a personality trait that not only opens the door to a relationship with God, but it keeps you practicing Christian principles even when you don’t feel like it (Philippians 2:3-11, Colossians 3:12-13). The more you practice this new Christian mindset, the more courage and resiliency you have to walk in the Christian faith. (Revisit the section called “Perception Drives Behavioral Choices ...” in the Art of Self Mastery). Anxiety dissolves into peace when you realize and grow into who you are in Christ (1 John 2:5-6, 4:13, Philippians 2:5-8, Colossians 2:6, 12-13 and https://www.gotquestions.org/peace-of-God.html for further reading). 

 

Remaining stuck in a me-centered perspective will limited your options, evoking negative thoughts and feelings leaving you hyper-focusing on the pain, not the gain, of your past experiences (Appendix 20). Brené Brown adds, “you can’t selectively numb emotions, you must deal with them. If you try to numb emotions to avoid pain or shame, you inadvertently numb the contrasting emotions like joy and satisfaction and these smother the emotion of gratitude” (Brown, B, (2012), youtube video, 2 Peter 1:7-9). The thought of gratitude sets you on a different wavelength (Romans 8:28, Mark 9:29, 2 Corinthians 4:18). You can’t be grateful and anxious at the same time. Gratitude moves you to confident action while anxiety paralyzes you (2 Corinthians 3:4-6, John 16:13, 16:33, Philippians 1:9-11, 2:12, Romans 8:28, Ephesians 5:2).

 

Faith is the work a Christian does to develop a mind like Christ. This enlightened mindset shapes your behavior by enabling you to curb your human impulse for instant gratification so your faith can persevere through unwanted circumstances to achieve the promises of God (Hebrews 11:1, 6:12, 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Each time you choose faith over fear, you grow stronger and more resilient (read more in Appendix 1Q and see the resiliency diagram in the section on Minimizing Conflict toward Preserving Peace).

 

Your work is emotional. You need to work to restrain your feelings by prioritizing your Christian faith, even in the midst of anger, sadness, insecurity, delight or over-confidence (Luke 46:46-49). By making an intentional decision to follow Christ, you are able to move swiftly into action that is consistent with what you believe while experiencing the peace and security of God (1 Peter 1:13, Romans 8:28, James 1:6, Isaiah 26:3, Exodus 33:14, Psalm 73:26, Isaiah 40:28-31, Philippians 4:7). It’s like how a life preserver prevents you from drowning but it won’t lift you out of the water. You still need to do the work of controlling your emotions while you swim to the shore. When you choose humility, you trust that God will see you through and so you move through the waters smoothly because, instead of being haunted by negative thoughts, you remain balanced in your emotions and can persevere through the waves (2 Peter 1:3-5, Ephesians 4:30, 1 Thessalonians 5:23, Luke 22:42).

 

Gratitude towards God stimulates courage and resiliency as you work out your faith with “fear and trembling” (1 Thessalonians 3:1, 5:23, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5, Philippians 2:12-13, Joshua 1:8-9). It’s up to you to be "fully convinced" to desire holiness and to learn how to “work out your salvation” so you can walk through this life loving God and your neighbor, imitating “the way” of the Lord (2 Corinthians 3:4-6, Philippians 1:9-11, 2:12, Ephesians 5:2, John 16:13, 16:33, Micah 6:8, Romans 8:28, 12:12). This is the will of God (Ephesians 5:1-2, Romans 12:1-3, 1 Thessalonians 4:3-12, 1 Peter 2:15, 1 Timothy 2:3-4). Dissolving bitterness and dissatisfaction happens when you respond to Christ’s sacrifice with gratitude; an intentional decision to think and act consistently with Christ in you.

 

Example of Reframing Bitterness 

Bitterness can be described as a mix of emotions, like anger and sadness, that something did not turn out as expected. The root cause of disappointment is misplaced expectations of yourself, God and/or of each other. If negative thoughts are allowed to fester, bitterness turns into smoldering resentment which taints your forthcoming behavior and produces both physical and emotional discord (dissonance). Letting go of anger, hurt, sadness, disappointment, or unforgiveness is a choice that frees you. Gratitude is the work of a Christian (https://www.gotquestions.org/sacrifice-of-praise.html, 1 Thessalonians 1:3, 5:18, Psalm 1112:1, Philippians 4:6). It comes with believing and trusting that when you let God satisfy your own needs for unconditional love, acceptance, worthiness, and security, you’ll have the courage of Christ and achieve the peace and joy of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23, Philippians 4:6-8, Isaiah 26:3, Psalm 16:11). From this frame of reference, in times of trouble, you'll remember to call on God and trust in Him so gratitude will shapes your mindset and you'll be gentle and long-suffering, rather than sticking to a self-focused attitude that generates bitter, angry and harsh reactions.

 

It's from this perspective that you love God with your heart, soul, mind and strength and is what enables you to love your neighbor as yourself (Colossians 3:23, John 13:34-35, Psalm 37:1-9 ). Gratitude, as an expressed state of mind, leads to loving relationships; with God, as seen by the practice of the first commandment, and with other people, as demonstrated by prosocial behavior (1 Thessalonians 5:18, Matthew 22:37-39, 1 John 4:19). Gratitude is both a psycho and social trait that serves as a weight to prevent extremes (McCullough, M. E., Kilpatrick, S. D., Emmons, R. A., & Larson, D. B. (2001). (Read more at Appendix 1M, Appendix 1N,  Appendix 2S, and Appendix 2H.)

 

​