Some people can move through the stages of personal development quickly, while others drag their feet or get stuck. An undeveloped virtue results in subjective thinking which then turns an objective truth into your “relative reality”. This basic law of reaping what you sow becomes obscured and blurs the reality of its application to your life (in that you can't see how God's grace works in a Christians' life and secularly, in that you can't connect the root problem with a fitting solution). When faced with the necessity to change, instead of allowing truth to define your reality, wishful thinking takes over and twists your view causing frustration, anxiety, and a negative attitude - which blocks the connection between responsibility and accountability so you are surprised and disappointed when you experience unintended and/or unforeseen consequences (2 Timothy 1:13, 2:22, Colossians 2:4-10). For example, if you did not learn to trust, you may have a skewed perspective that shades the rest of the virtues because when you develop without trust, you eventually have an imbalance of psycho-social behavior.

  

A closer look into each of the virtues in human development, identified by Erikson and further flushed out by positive psychologist Martin Seligman, can help you identify what may be at the root of dysfunctional thinking or behavior. Virtues that are not developed into maturity will not only stunt your own behavior, but it will stifle the development and maintenance of fulfilling relationships. A Christian stuck in addiction can be rescued by the Truth of their faith by digging into the stages of human development to uncover what event(s) caused their learning to be thwarted, blocking the growth of the other virtues necessary for developing appropriate/functional behavior and interpersonal relationships that leads to your well-being. 

• Read more about the ties between personal development theories and the Bible for further consideration @  the gospelcenteredfamily.com and an academic paper written by Zhitnik, A. P. (2014) entitled "Eden and Erikson: Psychosocial Theory and the Garden of Eden".

• Read more about realistic or wishful thinking in Appendix 1D. ​

 

A desirable goal is the main motivation to change but your will to achieve it fluctuates when your not single-minded. (Consider will modification to be similar to a change of mind that comes about by shift in priorities (like a desire for self or people pleasing rather than from a desire to seek truth and please God with your life). If you loose focus on the long-term goal, your decision making fluctuates and can produce behavior that draws you away from reaching the goal. Goal frustration stemming from relativism further cements distorted thinking, skews goals, and makes desired change, at any stage of life, unlikely.           

 

Accepting, understanding and implementing the truth of God’s Word can’t happen until you accept that God loves you – just as you are - whether you are a sinner still drowning in shame or are a Christian who is not self-aware of bad habits. God loves His creation and applies His principles/standards without discrimination, regardless of whether that love is returned to Him - as proven by His sacrifice of Christ (Romans 5:8). To navigate successfully through a corrupt world, we all need these "basic virtues" energized and empowered by a Christ- identity to achieve a healthy psychosocial development. Obeying God by trusting His ways over your own is how you can break out of a skewed, relative reality (Isaiah 55:9). God’s trustworthiness is recorded throughout the Bible. Love develops from trust. That’s why practical knowledge of Jesus Christ, not your interpretation of Him, and implementation of His ways are the blueprint of Christianity which leads to “an abundant life” (John 10:10, 14:6). But your decision to choose this way must stem from your heart; your free-will choice. ​

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You have the potential to live a full life in Christ, but it doesn’t always happen. Don’t let instant gratification tempt you to deny a Godly truth and limit your freedom in Christ. You have the free will to make choices, but if you choose to give in to temptation rather than standing firm in righteous behavior, you will change the expected outcome, causing you to confuse the relationship between your expectations and your responsibility, further skewing your thinking and emotions. For example, how can you reconcile the Biblical scripture in Romans 5:3-5 about God not disappointing your hope, if your hope isn't based on a knowledgable faith?

 

Are you training your will to bend towards the standards of a Holy God or are you falling victim to false hope because of unrealistic expectations? 

 

Please God - show your loyalty to Him by letting gratitude fuel your use of self-control so you can grow in the obedience, grace and knowledge of the Lord Jesus Christ (Luke 11:13, Ephesians 5:18, 2 Peter 1:5-10, 3:18). ​

• Read more about self-deception in Appendix 2E