​​When you feel offended by another person, how do you respond?

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Forgiveness is not easy and is often buried by various emotions. Emotions are meant to aid in decision-making not used exclusively to drive your decisions. The Families of Character website quoted this from William James (1842-1910), the father of American psychology; “The art of being wise is knowing what to overlook. When we find ourselves in uncomfortable situations, stop letting those untrue or irrational thoughts take over. If we do, will find ourselves living entirely different lives.” The art of being wise is acting on rational thinking, not being thwarted and overtaken by negative feelings like anxiety, anger, insecurity or arrogance which triggers hasty, character tarnishing, decisions. Instead;

1. Look at Your Options and Select Your Direction

2. Understand and Appreciate God’s Mercy and Grace

3. Bend Your Will and Override Your Emotions

4. Offer Worship to God by Practicing Discipline

5. Be Kind and Compassionate; Use the Power of Christ in You to Forgive.

 

Look at Your Options and Select Your Direction

When a conversation is not going in the direction you had hoped, staying calm and acting consistent with your character is a choice that requires you to pick the use of self-control over instant gratification (Duckworth A.L., Gendler, T.S., & Gross, J. J., (2016). It’s an intentional choice. Reactions are impulsive and they gain strength from emotions run amuck. They are most evident in you when you feel threatened (verbally or physically), and this is what stimulates your emotions and defensive reactions. It is tough to see clearly through the black clouds of emotions, but thinking tempers both impulses and feelings so you can intentionally steer the direction of your behavior towards your original goal.

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Interrupt the automacy of your reactions by choosing to reason past your emotions to generate a response. Rather than focusing on what you hoped the other person would say or what you thought s/he should do or hyper focusing on your own agenda (to prove your point or satisfy desire or urge), stop, drop, and roll. Stop by halting angry thoughts and reset your focus on God. While you do  acknowledge your feelings, the point of refocusing your perspective is to turn your attention away from to hurt or anger so these don’t contaminate and rule over your thinking and reactions. Use them as a barometer to understand your feelings so you can use logic and self-control to stimulate a counter thought that will move your thoughts away from escalation towards resolution (Luke 6:37, Duckworth, A. L., Gendler, T. S., & Gross, J. J. (2016)). Emotions act as boundaries in the decision-making process. While they can enhance or dampen your mood, they are not meant to lead your decision-making and problem-solving.

 

Reasoning with yourself to look past an offense may be something you want to do, but it is not always the case, especially when you are feeling disappointed or angry from the sting of an unexpected and/or unwanted comment or situation. It’s difficult enough to implement Stephen Covey’s 5th principle of effective self-leadership; “Seek first to understand and then to be understood” (2004). But when you are upset or bitter, it’s even harder to use the self-control and patience it takes to implement Dale Carnegie’s advice to want to “encourage others to talk about themselves” so you can try to understand the trigger that turned a friendly conversation into a defensive, explosive one (1988).

 

When you choose to recognize interpersonal relationship tension as a sign leading to conflict, you can view it as a chance to enhance your own interpersonal skills (Nightingale, E., (2018)). Avoid judging and/or defensive conversations by avoiding assumptions and not holding the other person to your standards; accept, rather than reject, what was said so you can move past it to maintain unity (Covey, 2004). Shifting your mindset as you are feeling flooded with emotions from what feels like a personal attack is an extraordinary task, especially in the heat of the moment. Calling on and asking God for help to make this perspective is your way to override your emotions so you can carry out your wholesome intentions.

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Understanding Your Human Nature and Appreciating God’s Mercy and Grace

Many Old Testament biblical heroes of the Christian faith struggled with disciplining using their faith in interpersonal settings. One example of not calling on God to help deflect sinful feelings comes from King David. (Throughout his life, even He who loved God, at times fell victim to immediate gratification despite knowing and wanting to please Him.) While he did withhold retaliation against King Saul (1 Samuel 24:4-8), He ran with his first thought to fulfill his urge for sexual pleasure with Bathsheba (2 Samuel 11:1-24). Even though King David, after he secured the Arch of the Covenant, did choose to praise God by dancing publicly (2 Samuel 6:14-22), on other occasions, He choose to avoid disciplining his own family members which led to disastrous consequences (1 Samuel 13:21-22, 30). King David’s ability to be mindful of God in all things, was a gradual process as he learned to push through his emotions by crying out to God for all things. In Psalm 62:8, King David learned to “Trust in him at all times, you people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge”. It is your willingness to remember God and His mercy towards you that will cause you to turn to Him in prayer and ask for the strength to deny your flesh so you can extend mercy and forgiveness to others (Matthew 6:9-10, John 17:3, James 4:17, Galatians 6:9, 1 Peter 3:17, Romans 21:21, Micah 6:8, 1 Thessalonians 5:15, Hebrews 13:6).

• Read more here in the article entitled “David’s Successes and Failures as King (The book of 2 Samuel).

• For further reading read the article from Got Questions called, “How can I control sinful impulses”?

  • Biblical scriptures that warn against following one's own desires; Mark 8:34, James 1:14-15, Galatians 5:13-15, Ephesians 2:3, 2 Timothy 4:32, Matthew 16:24-25.

 

Shifting your mindset to reflect your values rather than your desires, shapes your goals and decisions. David had to develop skills to match his mindset to honor God, which takes both thought and behavioral training to learn to turn away from old habits developed under the old goal of self-gratification and learn to practice new skills aimed at pleasing God (Ephesians 4:22-24, Galatians 2:20, 3:27). King David was able to recognize when he did give in to sin, and turned back to God to ask for forgiveness so He could continue his Christian walk being better able to prevent his desires from swaying him off track (John 6:63, Philippians 2:5, Ephesians 5:1-2, Romans 13:10, Colossians 3:22-23). King David learned to be mindful of God and learned that prayer was an effective way to do God’s will because his thoughts were centered on pleasing God (1 John 5:14-15, Matthew 6:7-10, Luke 11:13, 1 Corinthians 6:11). Your freedom to choose self-regulation is the difference between being a bondservant and a slave to God.  

• Are you a bondservant to Christ or a slave to sin because of your unwillingness to use self-discipline to conform yourself to a standard that’s not you’re your own?

 

Part of being a Child of God means that you don’t give up hope (Jeremiah 29:11-13). It’s up to you to believe and receive what you asked for in prayer by stepping out in faith and doing it, even if your feelings lag behind (Mark 11:24, Luke 18:1, James 4:3, 1:6, 2 Corinthians 5:7). There is freedom in Christ for both you and your neighbor (whether your neighbor knows Christ or not) because it’s by your initiative that restoration becomes possible (Jeremiah 9:23-25). When you are a Christian, you are free to be and do as your own enlightened conscience chooses, not as slaves to the exactness of carrying out Christian laws (Romans 13:9-10, James 2:8-9, Proverbs 14:21). By following Christ’s example because you trust in God, you use love and forgiveness to solve problems, and this is how you rest in Christ, spiritually, while working at self-discipline, physically (Matthew 11:28-29).

 

 

 

 

 

The decision you make to choose to overlook an offense and to pass along the mercy you received from Christ, is yours alone to make, without judging the worthiness of the other person(s) involved. You are making an intentional decision - based on your character integrity, not by how someone treats you. When you shift your perspective to God’s, you can make this humble, vulnerable and intentional decision, even when you’re mad (Luke 6:35). Turn to, not away from, God and reason with Him so you move past disruptive emotions (Isaiah 1:18, Ecclesiastes 7:9, 8:5, Job 23). It is your willingness to remember God and His mercy towards you that will cause you to turn to Him in prayer and ask for the strength to deny your flesh so you can extend mercy and forgiveness to others (Luke 9:23, Matthew 6:9-10, John 17:3, James 4:17, Galatians 6:9, 1 Peter 3:17, Romans 21:21, Micah 6:8, 1 Thessalonians 5:15, Hebrews 13:6). Make up your mind to use a Godly perspective during conflict so you can move towards intentional thoughts of mercy that will produce acts of compassion that lead you back to the original point of the conversation (Reinert, K. (2021), Clore GL, Huntsinger JR, (2007)).

• Read the article “What is Christian Integrity” here by Dr. Richard J. Krejcir and then consider these truth’s;

  • God’s loving character expresses longsuffering to undeserving people (Romans 2:4) but His mercy and grace is bounded by His Holy love and justice (Psalm 86:15, Isaiah 30:18, 2 Peter 3:9, Exodus 34:5-7, Psalm 33:4-5, Zachariah 7:8-10).

  • When you decide to act consistently with God’s character (Jeremiah 9:23-25), you show your free-will decision to control your actions to reflect Him (Micah 6:8) as amplified by the practice of your self-denial and self-sacrifice (1 Peter 1:6, 13, Galatians 2:20, 5:24, Colossians 3:3-5, Titus 2:11-13, Romans 6:5-7, 15:1-3, Matthew 5:38-48, 1 Corinthians 10:24).

 

By choosing to ShinE2 the Spirit of Christ instead of arguing, you give your neighbor an example of love in action and, in so doing, you are revealing that s/he, too, has a choice to make; to either to follow your lead or escalate the interpersonal tension (Proverbs 27:17). Do not project your choice (to curb your freedom to get mad) on to your neighbor. He/She may not make the same decision as you, so don’t EXPECT it. But do RESPECT it. After all, it’s a function of free-will (Philippians 4:13, 19, 23, Proverbs 16:1-3, 17-18, 21, 32, 1 Corinthians 10:23-24). 

• For further study on the bondservant concept, read the article entitled, “What does the Bible say?

• Consider reading the story of when Jesus told Mary that Martha had made a better choice to sit and listen to Jesus (Luke 10:28-42 NLT, Luke 10:38-42 NKJV, Luke 10:38-42 ESV) rather than missing the opportunity by being busy found in the explanation given @ at https://www.gotquestions.org/Bible-busyness.html.

 

Bend Your Will and Override Your Emotions

All people, including you, are imperfect people, with a tendency to react out of a need for self-protection, self-enhancement and/or self-gratification when involved in conflict (Sherman, D. K., & Hartson, K. A. (2011), Fiske, (2018)). Emotions intensify situations and can lead to hasty judgements which may restrict your future decision options (Phelps EA, Sharot T., (2008)). If you decide not to set your direction and bend your human will at the first awareness of interpersonal trouble, whatever the cause, your feelings will rule your behavior and the chances of looking at the situation from a different perspective get swallowed up by the title wave of emotions.

 

When you realize the discussion is moving off track, resolving interpersonal conflict is an intentional decision to flex your own personality style to reflect more of Christ- a learned interpersonal habit (Covey, S.R. (2013), Rohm, Dr. Rohm, R. A., (2008)). Researchers Wong, T. P., & Page, D. (2000) support the notion that it is easier for some types of personality styles to mend disagreements than others, but they say that all types of people can flex their style (show versatility) if they choose to do it to achieve a goal (by mindfully deciding to shift away from the desire to win an argument to a different goal like saving the relationship). Other researchers like Dunlop, Lee, Ashton, Butcher, and Dykstra report that it is disagreements that trigger deep-seated and often hidden feelings of shame or guilt that will sway you to remain in a conflicted state when faced with a disagreement, while personality traits such as conscientiousness coupled with agreeableness makes you quicker to work towards both a solution and an apology (seeing an apology not as a win/lose situation but as a win/win so that the relationship is restored (2015)). At the moment of tension/desire, you need to make a shift in your mindset away from your urge to defend or satisfy yourself and respond instead, as Covey says, “with the end in mind” (Covey, 2013).

• Revisit Appendix 2C together with Appendix 2E from the perspective of Appendix 1T, Emotional Intelligence, for a closer look into personality dynamics.

• For motivation, read the PDF file of the book by Steven Covey “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” here.

 

Setting the direction of your will is your part in a relationship with God and other people. Once that is established, the Holy Spirit can empower you to carry out your God-pleasing intentions. As a New Testament believer, calling out to God in prayer is part of your work of faith (1 Peter 4:7, Hebrews 12:1-3, 2 Corinthians 10:3-5). Casting your cares onto God takes a conscious effort and frees you to do the next right thing in His eyes (Morgan, R. J., (2001/2014), Psalm 27:14, Matthew 5:39, 23:23, Luke 9:23, Hebrews 12:14, 1 Peter 5:6-8). You are then in a position to flex your personality style so you can overlook sin in your neighbor - as well yourself, by avoiding the temptation to get entangled in it (Matthew 7:3-5, Galatians 5:25). Relying on the power of God in you relinquishes anger and, instead, gives you the confident endurance you need to fight off your frustration and/or disappointed feelings and replace them with other-centered feelings like mercy and grace (2 Corinthians 5:16, 19-20, 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, Hebrews 12:1, 10:36, 13:15).

 

The stronger your Christian worldview, the more you will be able to endure uncomfortable tense conflicting situations, while showing that your faith in God is most important to you than winning an argument, justifying yourself, or just a pride-based sense of entitlement (Matthew 6:33, Philippians 2:3). Whether or not the other person chooses to adjust their perspective, you, as a Christian, can. You are the one in the position to keep the peace by the decisions you make at the time the disagreement occurs (Isaiah 26:3, Matthew 5:1-10, 21-26, Appendix 2M). Practicing Spiritual Christian disciplines are behaviors that reveal your decisions, your maturity and your loyalty to God (2 Corinthians 5:16-17, Romans 13:13-14, Matthew 6:11-13). Christian behavior relies on individual acts of kindness and compassion that work to sustain both individual and group well-being (Koenig, H. G. (2012)).

 

By recognizing that a change has taken place in a conversation,

you can decide to cast aside both your hurtful feelings and unmet expectations, but will you?

 

Offer Worship to God by Practicing Discipline

The key to forgiving others is your own self-awareness and remembering there are style preferences and resolution techniques inherent in everybody’s personality. Whether the disruption to an interpersonal relationship is your fault or not, take the initiative to resolve the matter by staying focused on yourself and your ability to make an intentional decision to bite the bullet (translated to mean, self-sacrifice for the sake of peace through unity).

 

When there’s an interruption to amiable relations, you show your emotional ability to control your actions by choosing to honor God above yourself overlooking the offense, and taming your tongue (Proverbs 19:11, James 3:1-5, Romans 12:10, Deuteronomy 6:18-19). The Apostle Peter recommends that you “add to your faith” so that you can be productive in showing the Holy Love that’s in you as a Christian (2 Peter 1:5-10). It takes your intentional decision to retrain and restrain your physical body with the patience and self-control needed to learn and practice Spiritual disciplines that show the kindness of God.

• For a look into how personality style (as measured by the MBTI model) may impact your practice of spiritual disciplines, read an educated opinion @ https://theremnantradio.com/personality-the-spiritual-disciplines/.

 

Behind the scenes of your work to train yourself, is a tug of war between your old nature and your new (Ephesians 4:22-25). This calls for willful training. Making this choice to use self-discipline to learn to practice Holy habits is an act of worship to God – it’s your willing “spiritual” sacrifice to change your behavior so that you reveal Christlikeness; D(A+B)=CD (Romans 12:1-3 ESV, Romans 12:1-3 NLT). Adding daily prayer or Bible reading is easy to incorporate into your daily routine when you have an attitude that reflects the awe and priority you place on God. (When you are motivated to do “work” it feels effortless because you don’t feel you are too busy to do it.) Without holding God in esteem above yourself (by own free will), your Spiritual muscle remains in a weakened condition because of this “A” of the A, B, Cs; a disconnection between the awe of God and your behavior of His Holy habits. (Another example how cognitive dissonance is brought on by self-interest impulses overriding your values.) 

 

This is when the sovereignty of and the power of God works in tandem with your free-will (1 Corinthians 2:16, 1 Timothy 4:7-8, Appendix 2H). When you choose to intentionally channel your emotional expressions into a goal that is consistent with a child of God, the Holy Spirit will strengthen you so you can fully express the Spirit of love, but, to preserve your free-will, He allows you the choice. If you choose not to do it, you have grieved the Spirit. If you choose to do it, you prove the scripture in Ephesians 2:8-10. (God remains with you when you grieve Him but He won’t empower any of your unholy decisions, 2 Timothy 2:11-13). Take the “Law of Attraction” for example. King David didn’t fight the feelings that arose in Him when he saw Bathsheba.

• Read more about the seal of the Spirit @ https://www.gotquestions.org/lose-the-Holy-Spirit.html.

 

The discipline of humility

Learning to appreciate what you have (not what you feel you are entitled to have) and seeing other people as just as good as you, are precursors to generating humility. It is your humility that lets the Holy Spirit do His work of kindness through you (1 Corinthians 3:9, Psalm 18:25-27, John 15:13, Romans 5:5, Ephesians 5:2). An attitude of humility unlocks the power to practice other spiritual disciplines like prayer and bible reading that help you learn to incorporate Christlike personality traits into your behavior. The more you learn about Christ, the more willing you become to postpone self-gratification which eases your ability to be meek, kind, and long suffering with others (Matthew 3:8, Galatians 5:22-23, 6:9, Ephesians 2:8-10, 2 Peter 1:8, https://www.gotquestions.org/blessed-are-the-meek.html). If you consciously choose to ignore or disobey God’s command to love because of past hurt, fear, or pride (in the form of self-importance), anxiety will saturate your thoughts, doubt will creep in and chip away at your self-worth and this will trigger behavior of “self-defense” instead of faith, behavior that trusts God (Alicke, M. D., & Sedikides, C. (2009).

• Self-defense is a state of mind that kicks starts the self-preservation instinct and, if this state of mind is not changed, you’ll react – blocking wisdom from redirecting a bad conversation (Proverbs 19:11, Romans 12:16, 1 Corinthians 1:10, 12:27, Ephesians 4:1-5, 1 Peter 3:8, James 2:8).

• Watch a video on common defensive reactions @ https://www.gottman.com/blog/the-four-horsemen-recognizing-criticism-contempt-defensiveness-and-stonewalling/ .

• Read an example of an abuse of grace as recorded in the parable of the unforgiving debtor in Matthew 18:21-35 and then go to https://www.gotquestions.org/parable-unforgiving-servant.html for another look at forgiveness. 

• Don't fall into the trap of reacting to hurtful or threatening relationships that drain your energy. Read more about breaking free from a cycle of self-defeating behaviors @ https://www.makinwellness.com/the-toxic-cycle-of-reactive-abuse/.

• For a deeper look into applying Christian attitudes and behaviors to conflict resolution, read "What does the Bible say about conflict resolution?"  

 

An example of the discipline of prayer

When in the midst of a conflict, picture yourself praying; bow your head (lose your pride) to God while lifting up your hands as you ask Him to help you harness your emotions and guide your path to honor His supremacy. This takes a fraction of a second, but the effect will direct the rest of the discussion and relationship. Use direct eye contact with your neighbor (in respect) as you redirect the conversation (out of love for your neighbor), even if it does take offering a verbal apology (keep the peace) for the conversation to get back on track (Psalm 86:14-16, Proverbs 15:1, 1 Peter 3:8-12).

 

A willful decision to worship

By developing and mastering Spiritual Disciplines, you “sharpen your saw”, as Steven Covey says (Ephesians 3:16-19, Matthew 18:21-35, Covey, 2013). With time, the practice of “overlooking an offense” eventually becomes ingrained in your responses so it becomes your new normal, replacing the old unproductive habit that had led to an escalating cycle of conflict. Let gratitude for God’s self-sacrifice for us in Christ energize you to train yourself to think and act with Holy Christ-like behavior (John 3:16-17, 1 John 3:16, 4:12, 2 Corinthians 9:6-7, 1 Timothy 4:7-8, 2 Timothy 2:15, 22, 13:16-17, Proverbs 19:18, Hebrews 12:11, John 14:26). These skills take time to master so keep at it- soon it’ll become second nature to you as you get used to what it means/takes to show your spiritual worship to God (Philippians 1:6, 2:12-13, 7/26/19 Influence Magazine).

• Read article titled “Seven Spiritual Disciplines of Jesus; following the Lord’s example in our daily habits”.

• Revisit Appendix 2N and consider the level of intimacy you have established with God.

 

It was humility that got you thinking about God, and it’s humility that will keep you in the habit of prayer, which builds a desire for physical expression (in public or private or both) of adoration to God which can be expressed in many different ways, but most productively, seen in your habit of volunteering to serve others (https://www.rightnowmedia.org/blog/worship-as-a-lifestyle). All Spiritually motivated disciplines lead back to the goal of Christlike habits ingrained into your A,B,C’s. Even when it feels awkward, look at conflict avoidance as helping you cultivate Christlike character and, in so doing, you are offering your spiritual sacrifice of worship to God. By submitting to God, you are disciplining your emotions and physical desires away from the tendency to self-enhance (Psalm 150:6, 1 Corinthians 10:13).

 

Worship to God starts with an attitude of thanksgiving and ends with obedience. As a Christian, if you confuse the order, you are no longer operating on grace but by law. Your ultimate goal as a Christian is to represent Christ so people will see His love through your faith and offer their own praise to God (Psalm 105:1-6, Mark 9:32-37, 1 Corinthians 10:31, Matthew 5:16, Psalm 96:6-8, Ephesians 3:20-21, https://www.gotquestions.org/sacrifice-of-praise.html).

• Do you sincerely believe God is worthy of your love and devotion (Revelation 4:11, Psalm 96:4, Hebrews 13:15, 1 Corinthians 6:19-20, 10:31, Mark 10:17-31)?

• Do your emotions cloud your thinking, producing double-mindedness, and canceling out the hope and confidence you have in following Christ (believing that if you follow His ways, things will eventually turn out good because your self-sacrifice is an indicator of your love for God; Romans 8:28)?

• What is stopping you from actively working so you can experience God’s rest?

 

Kristen Weir writes, in an article on the American Psychological Association website, some reinforcing points about the correlation of forgiveness to your mental health (1/2017). She noted:

• Forgiveness is a topic that's psychological, social and biological. ... It's the true mind-body connection. Whether you've suffered a minor slight or a major grievance, learning to forgive those who hurt you can significantly improve both psychological well-being and physical health.

• Training yourself to replace anger (or hurt, etc) with compassion eases your ability to forgive which reduces levels of depression and anxiety.

• There is a connection between the practice of forgiveness to religious views.

  

Choose a meek and merciful perspective (Matthew 18:29-30). It helps you ShinE2 Christian love and unity, authentically, rather than with hypocritical double-standards (accepting God’s mercy and grace for yourself but not passing it on to others; Matthew 7:1-2, 3-5, 12-14, 18:21-35, Psalm 119:5-7, Galatians 6:1-5, John 17:23).

• Scriptures regarding hypocrisy: Matthew 23:23, 27-28, Galatians 2:11-13, 1 Peter 2:1-3, 1 John 4:20 and read the articles in the tab called “Still Anxious”.

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Be Kind and Compassionate; Use the Power of Christ in You to Forgive

If you see there is still no change of direction or tone in the conversation (you can only control yourself, not the outcome), the spiritual discipline of forgiveness may be needed to bridge the disruption. In Matthew 5:6-7, 9, Jesus says that forgiveness is a part of the skill set of righteousness and is another way to ShinE2 love. Jesus also pointed to the act of offering forgiveness as an action trait that contributes to your peace (John 20:21-23, 2 Corinthians 4:7, Matthew 5:43-45, Philippians 4:13, Ephesians 4:31-32, Colossians 3:14). When you decide to forgive, you are following God’s example of giving to others out of a pure, selfless heart of mercy, to every undeserving human being, which includes you as well others (1 John 4:9-11, John 3:16, 1 John 3:16). As a Child of God, choose to deflect the desire to take conflict personally by using your shield of faith (Proverbs 4:23, Ephesians 4:26, 31, Colossians 3:23, Philippians 4:13, Matthew 28:20). Ephesians 6:12-13 says this:

For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm.

 

Think of the characteristics of the Holy Spirit of Love as getting dressed for the day - like putting on your uniform as a soldier in Christ’s kingdom on earth (Hebrews 12:1-3, 1 John 5:4, 1 Corinthians 15:57, 9:24, 2 Timothy 2:2-6, 4:6-8). When you choose to show your Christianity, you will get people’s attention by what you do and this will show love and honor to God (1 John 4:12, 3:7-8, 3:1-11). Allowing negative emotions to drive your behavior is like choosing NOT to put on the armor that is hanging in your closet (Ephesians 5:7-8). But by letting your compassion seep out of your armor, you can offer others the same mercy you received from God through Christ and do your part to expand the Kingdom of God on earth (Ephesians 4:32, Philippians 2:1-5, 12-15, Luke 6:31, Romans 2:11). Resiliently applying God’s Holy love frees you to act confidently with zeal and cheerfulness as you turn an escalating conflict back into a friendly conversation (Galatians 5:13, 2 Peter 1:4, Matthew 6:33, Proverbs 17:9, 16:17, 15:18, 20:3, 2 Timothy 2:23-26, Romans 12:8). Jesus explains this by using a parable about salt;

You are the salt of the earth, but if salt has lost its taste, how shall its saltiness be restored? It is no longer good for anything except to be thrown out and trampled under people's feet. ... In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.

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​​Deciding to practice Godly principles wrapped in a loving and forgiving disposition, proves your loyalty to God and gratitude for Christ while showing your neighbor what it looks like to experience the Holy Spirit (2 Timothy 1:7, 2:21, Galatians 5:24, Ephesians 2:19-20, Colossians 3:12-13). Walk peacefully down the Christian sidewalk along the highway to holiness and help others find their way (Isaiah 35:8, 40:29-31, Ephesians 35:8, 1 Timothy 6:1, 6:18-19, Hebrews 12:14). Walk confidently.  

• Read more at https://www.gotquestions.org/how-you-treat-others.html.

• Read the article @ https://sharperoadcoc.org/attitude-of-gratitude-article/ and let positive expectations of God change your prayer life.

• Do you pray the serenity prayer? (quality or state of being calm and peaceful) by Reinhold Niebuhr:​

​God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can,        and the wisdom to know the difference. Living one day at a time, enjoying one moment at a time; accepting hardship as a pathway to peace; taking, as Jesus did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it; trusting    that You will make all things right if I surrender to Your will; so that I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with You forever in the next.​