Encouraging and Protecting Your Peace
What once was structured time in the mandatory schedule of your residential recovery home is now time that will be scheduled according to your free choice. To strengthen the new habits you learned in the recovery center, you must make choices that are consistent with your goals of a new normal lifestyle. If you decide not to spend time with people who have also selected God as their “higher power”, do not be surprised when anxiety creeps back into your life because of knowing the right thing to do, yet not doing it (James 4:17). No expectations, no judgement, and no expectation. Why not? This cognitive processes, this change in thinking, shifts your mood. Disappointment can lead to frustration and frustration can turn your focus to negative thinking and changes the way people react to you.
When you are invited to a party where there will be drugs present, and you attempt to use self-talk and prayer to try to prevent temptation from becoming a reality, you will be using your faith reactively. For example; Instead of going to the party and being double-minded, don’t even consider going so you remain single-minded as a result of a value based decision (1 Corinthians 15:33). To be proactive, you would pray for the strength to say no to the invitation by first, making the decision to decline the invitation, and then by generating new options as to what to do instead. This way you are not putting yourself in a situation where you would be determined not to drink and rely on your will power to avoiding the inevitable temptation after you already decided to put yourself in that situation. Don't wait until you are at the party and then pray. That is being double-minded. In the Old and in the New Testament alike, God describes what it looks like to place Him first in your life (Genesis 22:1-14, Ruth 2:11-12, Matthew 6:33, 13:44-46, Luke 14:26-33). Faith acts consistently with on what you know of God's principles (Luke 11:28, Romans 12:2, James 1:22).
* Secular psychologists call this the Pygmalion effect.
Look at how the self-fulling prophecy plays into goal achieval. Whether you look at a glass of water as half full or half empty doesn’t change the amount of water in the cup, but it does impact your attitude. Adopt a positive outlook! People base their first impressions of others on an accumulation of the words spoken, the body language used, and the attitude expressed. What you attract into your life is a reflection of your Christian faith (or lack of it) and this affects how you project yourself to others! Hope and optimism attract like-minded people. When you set optimistic goals you generate more creative options in your decision-making which illuminates your path to goal achievement. (Read more at:
To show confidence in a public setting, you must remain convinced that God is for you, He loves you unconditionally and His Word proves true (Romans 8:31-35). Self-esteem derived from Christ’s love for you gives you the courage to see social situations through a new lens. Because you have accepted Christ’s unconditional love for you, you can recognize and make healthy choices to overcome obstacles that challenge your faith (Proverbs 11:3, John 16:33, 17:17, 2 Timothy 3:16, Hebrews 10:16-18). When you acknowledge the Lordship of Christ in your life, God’s forgiveness replaces your wounded self-esteem and you have a new identity that sparks the motive and provides the power to change. Developing Godly wisdom gives you the confidence to move to a new unfamiliar neighborhood so you can shed your old reputation and nurture your relationship with God. Old friends and activities that used to demand your attention fade in importance as you start arranging your schedule to reflect your values while enjoying fellowship with like-minded believers. It’s your decision-making that activates the Christian faith and makes a new life in Christ possible (2 Corinthians 5:17).
A change in your social environment and finding new like-minded friends will take time. Spend this time getting to know yourself and God better. Do the exercise in the "Capture Your Vision" Tab.
Let your positive self talk propel your behavior. Expecting others to be friendly? Be friendly first! If they don’t respond, don’t be offended, try one more time before moving on. The Apostle Paul advises in Colossians 4:5-6,
"Walk in wisdom toward outsiders, making the best use of the time. Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person". Where ever you are, crying out to God for help, before you act, is indicative that you are committed to God, first. Faith in God expects results in accordance to His Word, the Living Bible. You can find help when you are aware of the workings of a Triune God; the Father establishes His kingdom principles, the Son-Jesus, modeled that behavior, and the Holy Spirit empowers Christians to walk in faith.
For example; when you feel uncomfortable trying out a new church, assert yourself. Make eye contact with someone. Tell him/her that you are a newcomer to the church or meeting. This will normally result in a response; someone offering you information as to how to get connected. (If it doesn’t then look for another church.) Accept whatever information that is offered to you with gratitude and ask more questions to remain engaged in the interaction. Then follow up with the contacts you make so you can participate in group events that provides additional opportunities for social events and making new friends. Be assertive and confident, not self-conscious and indifferent. Put your hope in what God will do through you when you are single-minded (having the goal of pleasing Him first)!
This calls for boldness (2 Corinthians 3:12). A new confidence bubbles up in a Christian because of our assurance of faith. But it only comes out in your behavior when you trust the Word of God so that you take action- that's
assertiveness. Acting in faith because you believe the biblical definition in Hebrews 11:1. This gives you flexibility within your personality to get along with others, not because you are comfortable with everyone you meet, but because you are a Christian who acts consistently with Godly principles and you have the Holy Spirit in you that gives you the capacity to flex your personality so that the goal of walking in love supersedes your "Comfort Zone"(revisit Appendix 1N).