Will you alter your character to fit into your social environment or will you change your social environment to keep your character integrity?​ Christian cognitive consistency does what your faith directs. It's intentional. It's value-based. It's a choice to override certain thoughts, desires, impulses and/or emotions so that the actions you take reflect what you believe. It's implementing God-directed behaviors instead of self and/or crowd pleasing behaviors.

 

The groups of people with whom you choose to work and socialize with will either reinforce your decision to live out your Christianity or motivate you to pick up old, unhealthy habits. Earl Nightingale says, "Our environment, the world in which we live and work, is a mirror of our attitudes and expectations". When you joined an overnight, 24/7, addiction recovery center, your social setting was made up of like-minded people, achieving for you a psycho-social balance. That environment changes when you graduate from the rehabilitation program. The "new normal” skills that were established in the controlled rehabilitation environment must now transfer with you as you join a diverse community, bringing social challenges to your recovery. New cues and triggers must be learned so that you continue to build and shape habits that will keep you walking in the way of righteousness and away from the path that leads back to unwanted addiction. 

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Social norms are powerful drivers of an individual's behavior. The choice of setting for your social rehabilitation can make or break your recovery because the more you want to fit into a certain social environment, the more you will modify your behavior to meet those standards (Lapinski, M. K., & Rimal, R. N. (2005)). Changing your physical habits in a controlled recovery environment allowed you to learn and practice the psychological aspects of fighting addictive behaviors without negative peer pressure. The next obstacle to recovery is social. Triggers to a relapse can come from people, places or events, some which you may anticipate and some that catch you by surprise. 

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Implementing self-imposed boundaries will protect your new normal. Where will you live when you graduate from a recovery program? What type of environment will you be walking into if you go home? Should you start over somewhere else? If your family or friends have similar habits to the ones you’ve decided to give up, then you’ll need to develop a strategy to deal with this issue. The chances of caving into peer pressure are real and likely, so new boundaries will need to be drawn around the maintenance of those old relationships (1 Peter 4:4).

 

Don’t be passive. Be proactive and assertive in establishing some new relationships that will support your new normal lifestyle. Start by getting connected with places of public worship. Locate a church nearby with Sunday and Wednesday night services and get involved; go to https://www.churchfinder.com. Participating in your local church not only renews your mind but also can be an avenue for you to develop social circle that provides you with new friends that support your lifestyle change (Romans 14:16-19). From there, you can find out about other activities like small group Bible studies and mission projects. You can also look to join local  church groups that host various meetings like Celebrate Recovery, Divorce recovery, prayer meetings, etc.

 

Another way to generate Christian fellowship and to encourage you to continue in righteous behavior is to look for a job in a Christian culture. Be intentional about where you find work. Look for a position in a non-profit organization or a for-profit business that displays Christian values in their vision/mission statement. If you don’t have internet access, go down to the local library so you can use their resources to research perspective companies. Also, look for a free newspaper that advertises Christian events in your area. (In Metro Detroit this paper is called “Events for Christians”, use it to start learning about social settings that support your Christianity values.) ​​

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During this transition to a new community, you'll want to have people surrounding you that value your new normal behavior. Finding like-minded people will take time. This waiting period can dim your attitude, if you let it. But, the reward of waiting is cognitive consistency, (less stress, more God-confidence). Spend this time getting to know God. Read the Word. Pray. Do the custom Bible Studies and use the other exercises in the "Capture your Vision" tab to practice your value based decisions as you are waiting to establish the social aspect of the psycho-social balance. Explore the references and Resources used to build the CYNN program to help you keep busy and focused until you build a new social network. Avoid the temptation to join interactive web sites and other social media platforms that may lead you away from your new identity in Christ. Remain in single-minded pursuit of God and let His Word guide you as you walk through a season were you may feel awkward being socially alone (Isaiah 40:28-31, 55:11, Jeremiah 29:11, 1 Corinthians 15:33). Going through this transition gives you a chance to experience the activity of waiting on God.

 

Faith, like the word love, is actively resting in Christ. (Gleaning your strength from Christ's Spirit in you!) It is waiting while practicing the behavior of your faith in anticipation of the fulfillment of God's Word. Actively waiting is demonstrated by active dependence upon and obedience to God. Don’t be tempted to choose to fill this time by hanging out with a potentially destructive crowd because you don’t want to go through the temporary loneliness and tension of building new friendships. Be conscious of peer pressure and the role it plays in shaping habits. If you decide that the peer pressure is going to sabatoge your recovery efforts, you need to reset your social expectations to complete your recovery. Do not let boredom eat away at your resolve to surround yourself with new friends. Be committed to persevering through the temporary loneliness that may result as you wait to find a new social group.

 

Learn to trust your faith; use it to adjust your perspective as you withstand the pressure so you do not inadvertently compromise your values as this will lead to slipping back into bad habits. ​Be patient as you practice training your body to react differently to environmental stimulus and set realistic expectations as you restructure your social calendar. Realize that the change you wanted when you decided to enter rehabilitation requires a new normal way of thinking, doing and relating which takes time, persistence and plenty of gumption! Incorporating this expectation into your own attitude (not projecting this onto others) is pivotal to your success, in this next phase, the social phase, of your recovery. Your Attitude shapes not only your own behavior but other people's reactions/responses to you. Perspective is the key to a mature attitude. When you can't quite figure out what's bothering you, the Cognitive Consistency and, its opposite, Cognitive Dissonance theories help to uncover why you may have the feeling you do. Does your attitude motivate you, keep you stagnant, or push you backwards?